Turn your binoculars around. See now the tigers are smaller and further away. you gotta be smart to survive in the rainforest.
my friend just told me that he was throwing up in the bathroom one time and his dad thought he was just screaming ‘RUTH’ into the toilet so he asked who ruth was and i’m still laughing so hard
i haven’t been to subway in 2 years cos the woman went “what bread do you want” and i went “yeah”
how much do islands cost i want one
Less than a college education
what the fuck
*puts my bro’s dick in my hand*
see, its a metaphor. it’s only gay if i jack it